


Out With an Ed

by Adenil



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: EdT3, M/M, Multi, OT3, Senior year, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-01-24 13:10:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1606361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adenil/pseuds/Adenil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten weeks before High School graduation, Eddy worries about his friends pulling away from him, Double Dee has a secret, and Ed is the man with the plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“It’s like Sockhead says, Ed. ‘Perversity builds character.’”

 

Ed was already nodding sagely at his advice even as Double Dee stiffened next to him, his words sinking in. “…Adversity, Eddy,” he said dryly, hardly looking up from his plans.

 

“Whatever!” came the expected response from Eddy as he flopped back onto his bed. He stared up at the ceiling for a moment before his view was interrupted by Ed’s face staring down at him. Ed glanced at him, then at the ceiling, then back.

 

“What ‘cha looking at, Eddy?”

 

“Can it, Lumpy. I can picture it now!” he exclaimed, lifting his arms and spreading apart his fingers to paint them a picture. “There’ll be exercise bikes and mirrors all along one wall! A huge open space for the babes to do yoga and—Oh, Double Dee, can you believe we didn’t think of it before? Money _and_ babes at the same time! Of course, we’ll make it exclusive so only the hot ones get in. But everyone’ll be wearing tank tops and booty shorts.” His smile seemed bigger than his whole face as he let out a little squeak of contentment.

 

He started to shift to see if Double Dee was done with the plans yet, only to realize that Ed had crawled onto the bed next to him. He frowned at Ed, who stared solemnly up at the ceiling, his mouth a thin line, as he tried to see what Eddy saw. Ed didn’t even look at him as he propped himself up on his elbows and looked over his knees at Double Dee.

 

“How’s it going?”

 

Double Dee let out a little huff. “As with all your plans, Eddy, this one is completely over to top and nigh impossible. Given the supplies on hand (i.e. _none_ ) it is unlikely that we would even be able to build four walls and a roof, let alone populate the space with exercise equipment suitable enough to attract the clientele you _desire_.” His words were dripping with his usual mixture of contempt, good humor, and mockery as he glanced over his shoulder at Eddy and raised his eyebrow on that last word. _Desire_.

 

Eddy frowned at himself. He hated with Double Dee spoke in parentheticals. It usually meant the other boy thought he was being especially dumb. “What do ya mean?”

 

“I mean, Eddy, that this plan will never occur under the parameters set.”

 

With a sigh, Eddy flopped back on the bed. His shoulder brushed Ed’s. He was muttering to himself as he felt Double Dee sit lightly on the edge of his bed, observing him. He ignored him pointedly.

 

“I’m sorry, Eddy,” Double Dee said carefully, as if he was afraid to show signs of weakness.

 

“Nah, I’ll think of something else.” Eddy’s mind was already working overtime to come up with a new plan. He just needed something that would make money. Something that could keep Ed distracted with menial labor, and Double Dee distracted with mental gymnastics. Something that would keep both of them in his life.

 

Gingerly, Double Dee stretched out beside the two of them. He turned his head to look at Eddy, only a few inches away. “There’s something you’re not telling me, Eddy,” he said firmly, the command a sub textual undercurrent, but still clear as day.

 

Eddy let out a huff. “We’ve only got ten weeks, Double Dee. I just want to go out with a bang, ya know?”

 

“Oh, Eddy.” Double Dee sighed. Somehow he could read right through Eddy’s façade. “We’ve ten weeks of school, yes, but we have the whole summer before college starts and—” he stopped sharp as Eddy flinched away from him and closer to Ed, who still seemed oblivious to their conversation. Eddy ignored Double Dee’s pleading look, and after a long moment Double Dee looked up at the ceiling instead.

 

The three of them sat in tense silence for a long while as Eddy’s mirror ball twirled lights across the ceiling. It didn’t take long for Eddy to start feeling bad, and his eyes began to dart quickly around the room as he searched for something to distract them. Thankfully, Ed came to his rescue as he sat straight up, stiff as a board.

 

“I think I see it, Eddy!” he exclaimed. He leapt to his feet, towering over the bed. Eddy watched him despondently as he marched around the room, tussling his red hair with his fingers.

 

“It’s got all that stuff you like, Eddy!” He waggled his fingers. “Razzle dazzle, mystery, sugar and,” he placed a foot on the bed, striking a victorious pose. “even stuff to _win_. This is going to be the best scam yet!”

 

Eddy frowned at Ed exuberance, even as Double Dee stifled a giggle beside him. He, for one, wasn’t falling for Ed’s hair-brained schemes. The last time Ed had lead a scam had ended disastrously. “And just what is your scam, Lumpy?”

 

“Oh, it’s a good one, Eddy!” he said. He smiled as brightly as Eddy’s mirror ball, and Eddy had to squint. “You wanted a bang? You’re going to get one!”


	2. Chapter 2

The next day was Wednesday, but two days after that they all assembled at Double Dee’s house as per Ed’s orders to begin working on Ed’s “scam.” For his part, Eddy still had his doubts. But he was willing to go along with it, at least until he thought of something better. Double Dee certainly seemed happy to be up to their old tricks, and Ed was just as rambunctious as always.

 

He slouched out of his shoes and carefully placed them on the little rack by the door, knowing he would never hear the end of it from Double Dee if he didn’t. Double Dee was still outside giving his car a customary post-driving clean out, which gave him and Ed enough time to begin getting settled.

 

Ed had acquired a bag of groceries from somewhere, which he set on Double Dee’s counter. He was talking a mile a minute about _something_ that seemed to mostly consist of every different word for “spaghetti.” Eddy’s head was reeling and his arms felt like noodles themselves as he placed a hand on Ed’s shoulder, grinning up at Ed’s exuberance.

 

“Slow down, chatterbox. We can’t get cooking without Double Dee.”

 

Ed nodded sagely. “That’s true, Eddy.” He began to unpack the bag of groceries.

 

Eddy sat at the counter and placed his head in his hands, observing Ed move about the kitchen in a way he hadn’t in a while. Truth be told, in his rush to spend time with his friends, he had forgotten to actually _be_ with them. He allowed himself to relax for a moment and just enjoy Ed’s yammering without thinking about the dreaded loom of graduation or his thousand-and-one college rejection letters.

 

Ed seemed at home in the kitchen. His years of babysitting Sarah had caught up with him, leaving him pleasantly domesticated, if still a bit scatterbrained. Ed bustled around, whistling a little tune, and interrupting his own song occasionally to shout out whatever little thing popped into his head. It made Eddy feel… nice, he decided. Nice to be with his friend in an uncomplicated way. Even with the slow burn of the next scam underlying their interactions, Eddy was almost able to forget his worries and imagine that they could stay this way forever.

 

He frowned at himself, then, and hopped Ed couldn’t see it. That was a stupid thought. Nothing was forever. Even if college hadn’t torn them apart, something else would have. Double Dee would have won that prize for being most annoying, and Ed would have shot himself into space to find UFOs. That would just leave Eddy to find his own place. Maybe he’d settle down with a nice girl—one who could take his guff and counter his brains, who could do all the heavy lifting and cook every meal but breakfast, someone to keep things interesting. A girl who was super hot and super into him. Basically, his dream girl. Too bad he’d never met anyone like that.

 

His musings were interrupted with the return of their better third.

 

“Messy, messy, messy,” Double Dee repeated to himself over and over again as he stripped off his not-at-all messy gloves and spritzed his shoes with a heavy burst of cleaning spray. Eddy found himself grinning at the other man’s mannerisms.

 

“Extra messy today, Double Dee?”

 

“Oh, Eddy, you have no _idea_ the amount of skin cells that a single individual sheds in one sitting! It is positively abhorrent. I know I agreed to give you and Ed a ride home from school more often but—oh, gracious Ed, do you need help with that?” Seamlessly, Double Dee shifted from obsessive-nervous to Motherly-nervous as he began to bustle around the kitchen helping Ed gather supplies.

 

A large pot was procured and filled with water, set on the stove to boil. Tomatoes appeared, along with onions and a head of garlic. Double Dee and Ed move gracefully through the kitchen setting up the stove for the dinner the three would share, dancing around each other with practiced ease as they always did when they cooked in Double Dee’s house.

 

And suddenly, Eddy felt very alone.

 

“Hey, uh, you guys need any help?”

 

Double Dee graced him with a toothy smile. “Certainly, Eddy!” He placed a knife and cutting board in front of him. “Would you be so kind as to mince the garlic? I’m afraid it’s one of my least favorite tasks, given its stickiness.”

 

“Sure,” Eddy said, already setting to work peeling off the tough papers.

 

It didn’t take long for the ingredients to find their way into a pan, and the hearty aroma of tomato, basil, and garlic filled the kitchen as Eddy stirred. He had already taken over operations and was grinning as he watched the meal come together. He really did like cooking.

 

He must have tuned out of the conversation for a moment, because quite suddenly he realized that Double Dee was positively humming with nervous energy. He arched an eyebrow at his friend.

 

“What’s with you?”

 

“Oh! My! Um, Ed!” Double Dee reached out to grab Ed’s hand, and immediately Eddy knew something was up. “Ed, I need your assistance moving some, um, rather large furniture upstairs. Would you be so kind?”

 

“Sure, Double Dee,” Ed said, but he was already being dragged upstairs.

 

Eddy frowned. This sounded suspiciously like a secret, and he didn’t like secrets. Especially when they were being kept by his best friends _away_ from him. He wanted to follow, but the spaghetti sauce was reaching a critical stage where it might boil over at any minute, splashing counter-staining red all over the place. Double Dee would certainly be furious.

 

But then, Double Dee was also keeping a secret.

 

He turned the sauce on low and snuck quietly up the stairs.

 

“Oh, Ed, I am simply beside myself!”

 

“You’re right here, Double Dee.”

 

“No, Ed I—never mind. What I mean is, I don’t know how to tell him.”

 

“Eddy?”

 

Eddy perked up at the sound of his own name. He pushed his ear against the door to Double Dee’s room, listening closely.

 

“Yes! I-I feel as though I’ve waited too long and now the opportunity is too far gone.” He sighed, and Eddy could hear the springs on his bed squeaking. “Should I even tell him? I feel it’s my duty as his friend. But what do I say?”

 

“Just say the same thing you told me.”

 

“It isn’t that simple, Ed. Eddy isn’t as… accepting as you are about certain things…”

 

Eddy had to admit that was kind of true. Depending on what this Great Secret was, he might not accept it. But that didn’t mean he shouldn’t know. They were friends. They shared everything. Double Dee and Ed even knew the full story behind his brother leaving, and no one knew that. He knew why Ed feared soap and felt more comfortable in filth. He knew what was under Double Dee’s _hat_ for crying out loud.

 

He snapped back to attention as Ed finished a thought.

 

“…But that’s why the Aboridians contacted them in the first place, so that they could pass on their culture before their sun went super nova.”

 

He heard Double Dee let out a long sigh. “Thank you, Ed.”

 

“No problem, Double Dee!”

 

There was silence for a moment. Eddy sat frozen, ready to bolt at a moment’s notice. He was just about to leave before he blew his cover when Double Dee spoke again.

 

“I… never, that is, Ed. I would like to enquire as to your state of mind regarding the conversation which occurred between us last week.”

 

“Sure. I think it’s cool.”

 

“Cool!?”

 

“Yeah,” Ed laughed. “I’m Ed! Everybody likes me. What did you call me once? A lovable oaf?”

 

He heard Double Dee let out a weary, breathless laugh of his own. “I suppose I did. It’s really not a problem?”

 

“Nah, anyway I’ve got a plan that’ll make it so far not a problem that it’s actually a solution!” There was a rustling behind the door. “Anyway, we should get back because I’m ravished!”

 

“Famished! Famished, Ed, _famished_.”

 

“Yeah, that.”

 

When they made their way back downstairs they found Eddy dutifully stirring the sauce, a huge smile across his face, not looking the least bit suspicious.


	3. Chapter 3

They still weren’t entirely clear on what the outcome of Ed’s scam would be, but the meantime seemed fun enough and so they went along with it. It had been a week since The Dinner and the Great Secret, and Eddy’s mind still whirled as he tried to put together all the pieces to solve the puzzle. He was still trying to figure it out when Double Dee rousted him from bed far too early Saturday morning and brought him to the creek, where the next part of Ed’s plan was to unfold.

 

Double Dee and Eddy had been entrusted with the task of locating the most intriguing rocks by the shore of the creek. Supposedly these rocks, along with the wood that Ed was out collecting that morning would be a key feature in his scam.

 

Eddy stuffed his hands into his pockets and kicked at the rocks beneath his feet. Double Dee was a few yards away, magnifying glass in hand, huge smile across his face, examining rocks of his own with great care. Eddy watched him pick up a small black stone and turn it over in his hands, feeling its smooth edges with a brush of his thumb before putting the rock down and continuing on.

 

What was Double Dee hiding?

 

He kicked another rock aside.

 

“Why’s he got us on rock hunting duty, anyway?”

 

“I think it’s quite exhilarating! Don’t you, Eddy?” Double Dee cast a smile over his shoulder at him, and Eddy felt his heart clench at the sudden realization that he might lose that smile forever in just a few short months.

 

“Y-yeah, I guess so. But we’ve already found like a hundred rocks. Can we go find Ed now?”

 

Double Dee laughed again, his heart clenched again. “You may have found one hundred, but I still haven’t located a single stone that meets Ed’s parameters of beauty, splendor, and grace.” He turned back to his search.

 

Eddy watched Double Dee for a moment, his eyes rushing over his friend’s form. He tried desperately to think of something to say, thinking mostly _stay here. With us. Forever._

 

After a moment he gave in and began searching through the rocks as well.

 

A few hours later, the sun was at its peak and Eddy and Double Dee were sat under a tree listening to the cool rush of the river and the whisper of the wind through the trees. They had found three stones that met Ed’s criteria of being ridiculously beautiful and had taken to sitting under the tree, exchanging quite conversation when they felt like it.

 

Eddy was just about feeling like he could fall asleep right there under the noon-day sun, leaning against Double Dee’s shoulder when Ed returned with a few short pieces of wood clutched in his hand. Ed smiled hugely at them and Eddy immediately felt more awake. He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

 

“What ‘cha got there, Lumpy?” he asked affectionately, already over his annoyance from earlier.

 

“Check out these sticks, guys!” Ed said as he splayed them out in front of them.

 

Eddy did his best to appreciate the rare find of diamond willow even as Double Dee oohed and ahhed. Ed sat beside them, basking in their appreciation.

 

“Ah, shucks. Weren’t nothing. Did you find anything?”

 

“Yeah, Sockhead found some neat stuff,” Eddy said as he dug into his pocket and pulled out the three tiny agates he had kept safe there. At the moment they were dull, but even Eddy could see that a few hours in a tumbler would bring forth their inner beauty. Not that he would ever say such a girly thing out loud.

 

He watched Ed turn them over in his hands before handing them back. He held them dumbly, a little surprised as Ed nested in beside them instead of immediately launching into the next step of his scheme.

 

“Aren’t you gonna tell us the next part of the plan?” Eddy asked.

 

Ed closed his eyes and leaned against the tree. Beside him, Double Dee leaned in a little closer as well. He could feel both of their shoulders against his, and it felt nice.

 

“Maybe later, Eddy,” Ed said. And Eddy found he couldn’t argue with that logic.


	4. Chapter 4

Eddy was starting to doubt that Ed actually had a scam in mind.

 

It had been six weeks since he had announced his scam over noodles and sauce, setting his plans into motion with a cheeky grin. They had done as Ed asked, but most of it seemed pointless. It seemed like things they would already do together. They hung out. Watched movies. Cooked suppers together. Lived their lives as close together as possible. Eddy hadn’t forgotten about the Great Secret, but he had put it on the back burner in favor of just enjoying what time he had left with his two best friends. He was selfish that way.

 

Ed had announced that they would all be gathering at his house for a movie marathon Saturday night. Sitting in companionable silence with his best friends sounded like a good evening to him, and so he arrived only a few minutes late, snacks in tow, at Ed’s house.

 

Only Double Dee was still small enough (or if he was honest, thin enough) to still crawl through Ed’s window, and so Eddy went around the front entrance. Ed’s mother was in the kitchen washing dishes, but she hardly acknowledged him as he went into the basement. He placed a bag of chips and box of cookies on the table and plopped down on the couch beside Ed, who was blankly flipping through channels.

 

Eddy opened the bag of chips and munched on one, tasting salt and oil. “Where’s Sockhead?”

 

Ed settled on a black and white channel and leaned back into the sunken couch. “He’s got very important ants to dissect. He’s coming at 7:00.”

 

Eddy glanced at the clock. 6:35. “Fine. Why’d you make me come so early, then?”

 

“I need your help with the scam! But it’s a secret, so Double Dee can’t know.”

 

The mention of the scam perked Eddy up a bit. He ate another chip. “I thought this day would never come. We’re actually going through with your hair-brained scheme?” He could feel himself grinning widely.

 

Ed smiled back before giving him a very serious look. “Yes, but it’s a secret!” He leaned in close, his face only a few inches from Eddy’s. He looked like he was about to say something before he pulled back and smiled hugely.

 

“I’ve got a mission for you, Eddy.” He leapt off the couch in one awkward motion and lumbered over to his desk. Eddy watched him go, munching on chips. Ed dug around for a moment before pulling out a slip of torn notebook paper. Eddy could see blue marker scribbles all over the page, most of which involved arrows pointing at a central word.

 

Ed handed him the paper. “Here’s the plan, Stan.”

 

Eddy scanned the page. A lot of it was gibberish, but the central words were clear as day in Ed’s messy scrawl. “’Be nice?’” he asked, glancing up at Ed. “What the hell does that mean?”

 

Ed seemed to have fallen into a trance. He still had that dopey grin on his face as he stared off into the ether. Eddy waved a hand in front of his face, annoyed. He snapped his fingers. He slapped Ed and Ed’s face squished like Jell-O, but he was still oblivious to the world. With a huff, Eddy sat back and watched the television for a moment, knowing Ed would have to snap out of it eventually.

 

It was nearly twenty minutes later, when Eddy had finished the better part of his bag of chips and was growing astonishingly bored with the program on TV, when Ed finally snapped back to reality.

 

“And then they lived happily ever after, the end!”

 

Eddy glanced up at him. “Finally back with the living, Shakespeare?”

 

“I’m really good with a polearm, Eddy.” Ed collapsed on the couch with a huff. Eddy thought about trying to figure out what _that_ meant, but he shook it off.

 

They were interrupted by a light tap on the window. Ed immediately leapt to his feet again to greet Double Dee as he crawled in through the window.

 

“Good evening, gentlemen! I hope I didn’t keep you waiting. I’ve acquired some provisions that are full of the protein we need to withstand a night of merriment and—gracious, Ed, be careful or I’ll spill my mixed nuts.”

 

 

Ed twirled him around in a tight hug only once before setting Double Dee down. Double Dee wobbled over to Eddy. He sat gingerly to Eddy’s right, and Ed plopped down on his left. Double Dee was still babbling something about how the climate affected the exoskeletons of the common garden ant—and really, Eddy was listening, _he was_. It was only that he was listening to the sounds Double Dee made, and not his actual words. The sounds were nice, but as usual the words flew right over his head. He didn’t get much chance to listen, anyway, before Ed shushed them and the show began.

 

They sat in relative silence for a long while as the screen flashed images of black-and-white monsters with an unusual amount of eyes, all of which were trained on the delicate young woman who had formerly been a scientist’s assistant. Eddy has set aside his empty bag, feeling a bit ill from eating too many chips. He was hunched over, eyes glazed, stomach out just a bit, and he wouldn’t have been able to pinpoint exactly when it happened but suddenly the three of them were cuddling.

 

Ed had thrown his arm over the sticky back of the couch. He was tall enough that he could stretch his arm all the way over Eddy’s shoulders to reach Double Dee on the other side of him. Double Dee had leaned into the touch, and was now resting his head on Eddy’s shoulder. Eddy panicked, thinking back, and realized that Double Dee had been like that for quite a while.

 

Eddy shot to his feet so quickly Double Dee and Ed nearly fell into each other. “I’m gonna go get a drink. Feeling thirsty, you know.” The damsel on screen screeched as he babbled. “You guys need anything? Just be a minute. Won’t take long.”

 

He made a beeline for the door as his friends called out their drink orders after him.

 

He hadn’t realized how late it had gotten, but when he got to the top of the stairs none of Ed’s family was around. The clock in the kitchen told him it was past eleven. Eddy briefly considered trying to keep quiet as he got their drinks around before deciding that sounded a lot like work and began to bang the glasses together.

 

His mind was reeling. He thought of Ed’s arm around him—warm and sure—and Double Dee’s head on his shoulder—calming and comforting. It was weird. He tried to rationalize. That was just what friends _did_ , right? Ed had just needed to stretch out. Double Dee had just been tired from farming ants. That’s what friends did. They were comfortable with each other.

 

He poured their drinks. A cola for him, fizzy grape soda for Ed, and a glass of orange juice for Double Dee. He stared at the colorful glasses in front of him, trying to make the lie stick in his head.

 

That wasn’t really what friends did, he realized. Not normal friends, anyway. That was just what _they_ did. The three Eds. Closer that nature intended.

 

Eddy tried to figure out if he was okay with that, and he still hadn’t come to a conclusion by the time he had delivered the drinks and sunk back into the couch. After a while empty glasses were abandoned and Eddy was the meat in a cuddle sandwich again, his mind still whirring in an ever-present _click, click, click_ as he tried to process what was happening.

 

He wasn’t sure, but he did have an idea about how to find out.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been nearly a week since movie night, but Eddy was nothing if not patient.

 

Okay, that was a lie; Eddy was the epitome of impatience. Maybe that was why he was stalking back and forth in his room trying desperately not to look at his backpack and the little surprise it held inside.

 

One of the first things Eddy had done when he got back from Mondo A-Go Go was break into his brother’s room and trash it. All the items he had so carefully avoided damaging, all his brother’s treasures he had once held sacred, he destroyed. He knew his parents would never notice, but at that point he didn’t even care. He just broke and smashed and abused every square inch of his brother’s room until he didn’t feel so bad any more.

 

Afterwards, he had gone outside to play, putting the little secrets he had found out of his mind.

 

Like, the secret that said his brother probably had a kid of his own (and that kid was _probably_ Eddy’s age, which made it worse). Or the secret that his brother had cheated on his college entrance exams. Or that most of his trophies and awards were stolen. Or that he was an alcoholic.

 

He hadn’t been sure what to do with the booze paraphernalia, so he had left it there. Left it alone until Great Secrets and Movie Nights were too loud in his head, and then he had gone to get the one unopened bottle of rum from its hiding place under his Big Bro’s bed.

 

But now Eddy paced. He paced because he couldn’t wait any longer.

 

He had decided that they should meet at Double Dee’s house. It would bother him not to have the safety of his own room to fall back on, but he knew that Double Dee’s parents wouldn’t be home. It would be better than trying to explain to his mom why they were drunk if she walked in, and Double Dee’s house was safer than Ed’s. Ed’s house was too full of one prying little sister, who could read them like a book and somehow Eddy just _knew_ that _she_ would know exactly what his motives were.

 

He should have felt ashamed. Maybe. A little. Ashamed that he was getting his best friends drunk just to find out which of them had a crush on him. But Eddy was never ashamed.

 

Of course, dealing with Double Dee meant dealing with his crazy cleaning schedule. And so he had to wait until nine o’clock before he could show up nervously at his door with Ed happily in tow.

 

“Hiya, Double Dee,” Eddy said as he pushed into his house. “So, nice thing you’ve got going here. Did you clean up just for us?” He stood there awkwardly for a moment, feeling the unnaturalness of his smile, and clutched at his backpack as if he was afraid it would disappear. He could feel Double Dee’s eyes on him, appraising, noticing, and for a moment he thought his cover was blown, but Double Dee just smiled back.

 

“Salutations, Eddy, Ed.” He ushered them in and closed the door, locking it behind.

 

Eddy felt like a bundle of raw nerves as Double Dee and Ed traded ideas for what to do with their evening. Ed suggested reenacting a new scifi thriller he had just read, and Double Dee suggested a particularly boring board game he had just acquired. Eddy let out a short, breathy sigh as he reached forward and snatched up his nearest friend—Double Dee—and began dragging him up the stairs.

 

“I’ve got a better idea.”

 

Ed fell into step behind them and soon they had absconded to Double Dee’s room. It seemed especially clean this evening, as though Double Dee had expected they would wind up here eventually. Eddy tried to ignore the fleeting thoughts that resulted from _that_ idea as he set his backpack heavily on the desk.

 

His friends sat on the edge of the bed as he rifled through his pack and pulled out his props: a bottle of rum with a picture of a squid on it, and a deck of playing cards. He turned and presented them to his friends, his eyebrows waggling nearly off his head.

 

Ed looked pleased, but Double Dee nearly had a heart attack. “Eddy!” he screeched. “You brought _alcohol_ into my _parent’s_ house?”

 

“It’s your house, too,” Eddy said. He sat cross-legged on the floor and motioned for his friends to join him. Ed did eagerly, Double Dee moved with more trepidation.

 

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he said, but Eddy noted he wasn’t complaining as much as he could have been.

 

“Yeah, yeah. That’s why we’re in your room, Sockhead. That way we don’t get any offending alcohol on your parent’s precious house.” He yanked open the pack of cards. “Anyway, this is a _strategy_ game, so you should enjoy it, Sun Tzu.”

 

“Well, I do enjoy a rousing strategy game…”

 

“First,” Eddy said as he looked through the deck. “We each get a card that’s _our_ card.” He handed Ed the Jack, Double Dee the Queen, and himself the King. He had planned this out ahead of time and was prepared for the eye rolling that ensued. “Different cards mean different things, and you have to do what the card tells you. Numbered cards are drinks to take, but you can trade them with people for different stuff.”

 

“I like stuff.”

 

“What sort of things, Eddy?”

 

Eddy shrugged. “Like, whatever they want.” He began to spread the cards out upside-down on the floor in a huge pile. “Offer them something. Like, tell Ed you’ll clean his room if he takes your card. Stuff like that.” He held up a hand to stop the inevitable _my room is clean, Eddy_ , and continued. “ _But_ if you get one of the cards another person has they get to ask you one question and you have to answer it truthfully. If you get your own card, you can ask anybody anything.”

 

The game explained, Eddy leaned back a bit and waited for Double Dee to complain and Ed to say something stupid. It never happened, to his surprise, and after a moment Double Dee let out a sigh.

 

“Do you have any idea what the alcohol content of rum is?” he asked.

 

Eddy turned over the bottle in his hands. Of course he knew, he could _read_ the number. But the way Double Dee asked made him hesitate.

 

“It’s far too high for the possibility of ten drinks in one instance.”

 

“Fine, sips then.” He tried to twist off the top, only to have Ed take it from him and open it with ease. He glowered at him before thrusting the bottle at Double Dee. “You first, since you’re the drinking expert.”

 

With a heartfelt sigh, Double Dee tucked his card into the brim of his hat and accepted the bottle graciously. “I suppose that’s for the best. This way I won’t have to contend with your and Ed’s slobber.”

 

Eddy noted that he didn’t suggest they all go get glasses. He felt a little thrill of pride. Maybe he really _was_ rubbing off on him. Double Dee carefully dusted his fingers over the pile of cards before pulling out a particularly bent three of spades. He demurely took three tiny sips before passing the bottle to Ed.

 

Ed scooped up a card of his own—a ten of clubs—and accepted his lumps with aplomb.

 

Then the bottle was in Eddy’s hands, and he gulped. He knew he had to do it to make the plan work, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. He steeled himself. He had to make sure his friends didn’t realize that he was new at this whole thing. He carefully reached out a shaking hand towards the pile of cards and drew one towards him.

 

Two of hearts.

 

Eddy grinned to himself. This would be easy. All he had to do was take two tiny little sips and pass the bottle and—

 

He spluttered indignantly as the hot alcohol hit his tongue. It was sweet—almost sickly sweet—but felt like he had swallowed hot coals. His nose crinkled in disgust as he accepted the last little swig, coughing.

 

Double Dee hid a twitter behind his hands. “Not to your liking?”

 

Eddy stuck out his tongue and handed over the bottle. “How did you not throw up?” he asked. “You’re a delicate daisy compared to what I can handle.”

 

He just laughed again and took the five little sips his card demanded. “I guess it’s different for everyone, Eddy.”

 

“I’m as delicate as a mushroom!” Ed shouted as he knocked back a huge swig of the rum, which _had_ to be enough to cover the five sips the card had demanded.

 

“You’ve got mushrooms growing out of your ears…” Eddy mumbled as he drew another card. His heart dropped as he saw the Jack of spades. He’d been hoping they could all get a bit…looser, before they started in on the questions.

 

“That’s my card!” Ed sounded delighted as he pulled his own Jack from behind his ear to compare. “Ooh, Eddy, that means I get to ask you a juicy question.” A huge smile stretched across his face as he considered.

 

“Or, or I could trade this to Double Dee.” He looked nervously at his friend. “Right, buddy? Something you need?”

 

Double Dee simply twittered again, hiding his smile. He seemed as delighted as Ed was. “I’m sorry, Eddy, but this is _your_ game.”

 

Eddy started to protest again, but suddenly Ed was way too close to his face and he jerked back, almost spilling the bottle. “Uh, getting a little close there, Lumpy.”

 

“Eddy,” Ed said very seriously. “What…is your favorite color?”

 

“…What kind of question is that?” Eddy felt a bit disgusted. After all the hype he’d expected something a bit more…well, a bit _more_. He tried to think. He had to answer truthfully. He glanced between his two friends for a moment. “I, uh, guess it would be yellow.” He passed the bottle, and the game continued.

 

Eddy learned a bit more about Ed’s bathing habits than he would have liked to have known, thanks to a question from Double Dee. He found out that Double Dee still hadn’t decided on which college to go to, and that Ed’s most recent fight was with one Jonny two-by-four after he had found him in bed with his sister.

 

Eddy’s head was still reeling from _that_ little tidbit as he sipped at the bottle, eyeing his friends. Eddy had gotten lucky with the cards, and had only had to drink enough to get sort of pleasantly buzzed. Ed had not been so lucky, and was completely off his rocker as he rolled around on the floor next to Double Dee, who had hardly stopped giggling since he had drawn two sevens in a row. They had only a few drops of the rum left, and Eddy was finally starting to feel like it would be okay to start asking bigger questions. He might actually have plausible deniability tomorrow.

 

Now one of them just had to draw the King.

 

He watched as Ed stopped his rolling and came to rest with his head in Double Dee’s lap. He purred pleasantly as Double Dee ran his hands through Ed’s hair, contemplating the card he had just drawn. Eddy felt a little sick as he watched them, and he realized he was jealous. They were way over there, and he was way over here. He didn’t like feeling separate.

 

“My own card means I can choose, is that correct?”

 

Eddy snapped out of his reverie. “Oh, uh, yeah. Choose someone to ask a question.”

 

Double Dee carefully placed the card face up in the discard pile he had started. He neatened the edges of the stack as he contemplated. He let out a tiny, trilling hum, his fingers still entangled in Ed’s hair. He smiled to himself.

 

“Eddy… Do you _like_ anyone?”

 

Eddy froze, watching the way he friends were tangled together with trepidation. He found he couldn’t tear his eyes away as Ed bubbled happily and all Eddy could think was _maybe it’s not real. It could be plat-plato… plate tectonics, or whatever._ “Uh,” he said. “Uh.” It was too late to trade with Ed without seeming suspicious. He wracked his brain. “Uh.”

 

Double Dee’s mirth seemed to fade a bit. He looked concerned now. “Eddy?”

 

Then Eddy saw it. The grand-daddy of all loopholes. He let out one of his trademarked Eddy smirks. “Of course I do,” he said.

 

Perplexed, Double Dee motioned for him to continue. “…Who is the object of your affections?”

 

Eddy waggled a finger at him. “That’s not how the cards work, Double Dee! You only get one question.” Feeling quite pleased with himself he pressed the bottle at Ed. “Your turn, you big lump.”

 

With a heavy sigh Ed reached blindly into the pile and pulled out a card. He pressed it to his face over his eyes, examining it closely. He let out another heavy sigh and turned the card towards Eddy. “I’m at your mercy, oh Kingly One.”

 

Eddy stomped out the little thrill at the sight of his card in Ed’s hand. Now was his chance. He could ask _anything_ he wanted. He reigned himself in, knowing that he had to play it cool or they’d catch on. But then, Double Dee had already given him the ammunition he needed.

 

“Since _I’m_ so smart,” he said brazenly. “I’ll ask what Sockhead _should_ have asked.” He ignored Double Dee’s huff of annoyance and looked down, smiling, at Ed. “I’ll even sound smart doing it.” He affected a little Double Dee-like accent. “’Who is the object of your affections, Ed?’”

 

He felt like laughing at his own brilliance, but it was swallowed up because suddenly Ed was spilling out of Double Dee’s lap in tangle of limbs and Eddy felt the rush of air as he approached, crystal-clear calm in his eyes. He felt hands on the back of his neck and let out an undignified squeak as Ed yanked him into a deep, deep kiss. His eyes snapped shut automatically and he hardly processed Double Dee’s little _oh, my_ because all he could taste was warmth and sweet and Ed and before he could do anything or even move Ed was yanking away to turn on Double Dee.

 

Eddy’s eyes flew open just in time to see Ed pull his friend into the same powerful, commanding kiss. Something clutched in his stomach as he watched Double Dee’s eyes flutter shut, his mouth gently parting to Ed’s insistent, probing tongue. He heard someone moan and realized it was himself. He felt himself standing shakily. He looked down as Ed pulled away, leaving Double Dee breathless, his lips pink with pressure, to look up at him. Ed gazed at him with quiet intensity and suddenly Eddy knew exactly what Ed’s scam was all about.

 

His feet carried him away, down the stairs, and out the door and he was running, running with the sliver of the moon his only light and the cool, heavy glass of the rum bottle clutched in his hand.


	6. Chapter 6

Monday morning rolled around, and Eddy still hadn’t quite come to terms with it.

 

He’d managed to avoid them both over the weekend. He’d taken to simply laying in his bed, curtains drawn, and staring at the ceiling in horrific contemplation. Eventually rum had faded to a splitting headache, which had faded to the dull, empty ache of confusion that now gripped Eddy. He stared at the ceiling, watching the lights from his mirror ball dance, and realized he was in the same spot the three of them had been in seven weeks ago.

 

His mom knocked on the door. He had to go to school.

 

He thought about pretending to be sick (honestly, it wouldn’t have been too big of a lie), but he knew she wouldn’t buy it. He only had three weeks before graduation. Fifteen school days to survive.

 

He convinced his mom to give him a ride to school in a desperate attempt to delay the inevitable. He arrived a few tortured minutes early and tried to lay low as he collected his books from his locker.

 

He could hear the laughter of Kevin and Nazz over in one corner, and was struck suddenly with the inexplicable fear that _they knew_. They knew, somehow, that he wasn’t a real man. That he’d let himself be kissed by his best friend. That instead of slugging him he’d run away, scared, to think about how nice it was. He felt his vision blur as he picked out textbooks at random. Their laughter gnawed at him until he slammed the locker door, reveling in the sudden silence his outburst had brought.

 

He glanced around. No one was really looking at him. He let out a quick breath of air and turned to leave, only to run smack dab into Double Dee.

 

“Oof!” Double Dee gasped as he fell back, landing hard on the ground.

 

Automatically, Eddy reached towards him, offering his hand. Double Dee smiled, thankful, and with his help stood back up. Eddy stared at him, dumbly, and thought that maybe Double Dee was just as concerned about this as he was. He hadn’t asked for Ed to kiss him, either. It had just happened. Maybe he had been just as disgusted as Eddy should have been—as he _was_ , he corrected himself. Maybe he was here to commiserate.

 

But then Double Dee reached up and enclosed his hand over Eddy’s, holding him tight. He leaned in to whisper.

 

“Eddy,” he said. “Ed is very upset. He wants to make it up to you. Will you come to his home tonight?”

 

“Our hands are touching, Double Dee.”

 

Double Dee looked a little shocked, and Eddy knew that if it had been any other time he would have pulled away in embarrassment. “So they are,” he said instead, and his grip tightened almost imperceptivity.

 

Eddy yanked away. He rubbed his hand in annoyance. “Fine, I’ll go to his stupid house. Tell him he better not try any funny business.”

 

He spun on his heel and marched down the hall, determined to ignore the hammering of his heart.


	7. Chapter 7

No one came to the door within two seconds, and so he let himself into Ed’s house. He didn’t have the patience to wait around. He marched into his home and slammed the door behind him. Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of Sarah and Jimmy cuddled under a blanket in the living room, looking with suspicious intensity at the blank TV.

 

Eddy smirked. “Better not let Jonny catch you like that,” he said as he swaggered down the stairs, Sarah’s screeches of disgust and Jimmy’s questioning tone following him.

 

His smile had faded by the time he reached the landing. He hesitated outside Ed’s door for so long he almost became part of the wallpaper. He debated simply turning around and leaving, but the sound of quiet conversation made him stay.

 

After a while he reached up and knocked on the door.

 

Immediately it flew open in his face and there was Ed pulling him into a tight, bone-crushing hug as he said over and over again that he was sorry. Eddy squeaked in pain at the power of Ed’s hug, trying to remind himself that that was just Ed. But all he could think about was that maybe _just Ed_ was _just wrong_.

 

Irritated, he shoved Ed off of him and turned his glare onto Double Dee. “You’re supposed to be the voice of reason!” he found himself shouting. “I thought I told you no funny business?”

 

Double Dee quaked and looked down at his knees, abashed. “Oh, Eddy, I fear this entire matter is all a product of my doing.” He nervously twisted Ed’s bed sheet in his hand.

 

“So spill,” he demanded, Ed forgotten for the moment as he turned the full force of his anger on his weaker friend.

 

“I-it’s just that I had recently acquainted Ed with a secret that I had been harboring for some time.” He stuttered for a moment before gathering himself. “I wished very much to tell you as well, but I was unsure how you would react.” He glanced up, and Eddy caught the glint of anger in his eye that belied his timid nature. “I can see now that I was right to be concerned. Ed was very accepting of what I told him, but you are too selfish to—”

 

“You think I’m selfish!?” Eddy was screaming again, and some small part of his brain hoped Sarah and Jimmy were too distracted to notice. He flew forward and grabbed the front of Double Dee’s shirt, shaking him. “You two are the ones that are selfish! You-you think you can just go wherever you want and we’ll just sit on our hands waiting for you? I’ve known since _forever_ that you have some stupid secret but did I say anything? No! Because I’m a _good friend_. I would never do anything to mess up our friendship.”

 

Eddy yanked back, reeling from the power of his own words. He saw the horrified expression on Double Dee’s face, but he was already turning to yell at Ed. “And _you!_ ” he spat. “You’re worse than him! Needing to get your stupid kicks. You could have wrecked our entire friendship!” Anger poured out of him in waves, and he suddenly felt a thousand feet taller than the tiny, terrified Ed.

 

Ed’s eyes were huge, rimmed with unshed tears, as he said, “Could have?”

 

And just like that all the anger was gone. Eddy slumped forward, burying his head in his hands. “Yeah,” he said breathlessly. “Could have. But you didn’t.”

 

He felt Ed pulling him into another hug, then Double Dee’s hand on his back. He couldn’t tell which of the three of them were shaking. Maybe it was all of them. He didn’t cry, he _really_ didn’t, but it still took him a moment to regain his composure. Finally, he pulled back and looked up at Ed’s grimy ceiling.

 

“Secrets ‘r what got us into this mess,” he slurred. “I think they’re fucking stupid.”

 

“I agree, Eddy,” said Double Dee softly. Eddy realized belatedly that Double Dee was rubbing little circles on his back. “It is time I elucidated my own secret.” He felt Double Dee pulling away to return to his spot on the edge of Ed’s bed. He started to turn as well, but Ed held him fast in a tight hug.

 

He sighed. “It’s all right, Lumpy. I ain’t mad at you.” His heart broke a little more as Ed looked up at him, his face wet, before finally releasing him.

 

The three of them sat side-by-side on the bed, Double Dee in the middle, and Eddy pointedly looking everywhere but at his friends.

 

Double Dee cleared his throat once. Then again. He twiddled his thumbs. “I suppose there is no need to bore you with the details,” he said. His voice was high and breathy. Eddy could feel him shaking. “Suffice to say, I am a homosexual man. As to how I found myself acknowledging this, well…”

 

Eddy saw the way his friend shook, the way Ed laid a calloused hand on his arm in a rare moment of clarity. He watched as Double Dee glanced up at him, then away, trying to find words for something so complicated. He thought back to the night he had heard about the great secret.

 

“You like me and Ed.”

 

Double Dee let out a low, laughing rush of air. He sounded like he’d lost it. “Why, yes, I suppose I do.”

 

Eddy’s eyes flickered towards Ed. “And what about you, Lumpy?”

 

Ed looked stricken. “I—my secret is the scam.” He leapt to his feet and walked over to his desk to pick up the monster action figure that rested there. He tilted the monster and three small rings fell out of its mouth. “Only, it’s not a real scam, Eddy.” He glanced over. “’Cause I’m no good at those.”

 

“I know.” Eddy didn’t feel bad. He’d expected it all along, and their altercation the other night had only confirmed his suspicions. He watched as Ed slinked over and handed one of the rings to him.

 

“I like you, Eddy.” He turned, handing the other ring to Double Dee. “And I like you, Double Dee.”

 

“Oh, Ed,” Double Dee breathed, examining the ring in his hand. “This is lovely.”

 

Eddy looked down at the ring he was clutching so desperately. It was diamond willow, polished smooth save for the tiny, beautiful imperfection of one of the knots which sat dark against the surface of the wood. He turned it over in his hands and saw the barest glint of stone. It was the agate, he realized, thinking back to the creek-side stroll he and Double Dee had taken what seemed like a lifetime ago. The yellow one. It was set into the wood of the band, blending almost seamlessly unless you knew to look for something deeper.

 

He felt himself shaking as he held the ring. He knew without having to look that his friends held the other two, a matching set of unique properties.

 

“It’s so we remember each other,” Ed said belatedly. “When we’re all gone.”

 

Eddy let out a little strangled laugh. He screwed his eyes shut and tried to quell his shaking. He felt hands on him—the strong, awkward hand of Ed, and the quiet, sure hands of Double Dee—and his shaking intensified for a moment before leaving him like a long, slow exhale.

 

“This ain’t exactly how I pictured it,” he said to no one in particular. Maybe he was talking to himself.

 

“I have a secret, too…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

Graduation day, and Eddy tried to ignore the way his family pinched his cheeks as he scanned the assembling crowd.

 

Soon enough they all took their seats in the auditorium, lined up alphabetically in neat little rows as they awaited the long and boring speech from the principal, followed by the longer and boring-er speech from Double Dee.

 

He listened to the principal’s speech just enough to know when he could move and when he had to stay still as he made his way over to where Ed was sitting two rows down.

 

“Psst,” he whispered, and Ed turned to grin at him, his tassel falling into his eyes. He blew on it dopily. “Come ‘ere.”

 

“Yes, Eddy?” Ed asked, a little too loudly.

 

Eddy slapped a hand over Ed’s mouth, but the sound of applause covered the noise. “Shut up and help me find Double Dee so we can sit by him.”

 

“Okay, Eddy.”

 

“I said shut up!”

 

Double Dee was almost on stage by the time they found his empty seat and managed to get rid of the two dopes on either side of it. Eddy sat down and put his feet up on the back of Kevin’s chair, reveling in his annoyance for a moment before turning his attention to his friend on stage.

 

He hardly looked nervous, Eddy noted with no small amount of pride. Double Dee was smiling with a toothy grin as he unfurled his speech notes, even though he wouldn’t have to even glance at them. Eddy knew he had obsessively memorized his entire speech.

 

“Friends,” Double Dee began, and Eddy felt his heart jump a little at the comment. He stomped it down, desperate to feel cool even though he was anything but. “We are gathered here today to celebrate a joyous occasion: the graduation of the twenty-seven students you see before you. I assure you that the journey has not been easy—for any of us—but each of us has persevered in our own way.”

 

Double Dee went on, painting a happy picture of growing up and finding one’s own path. Eddy jumped as he felt Ed reach over to hold his hand, but he didn’t pull away.

 

“And although adulthood beckons to us, driving us ever forward into the unknown, and although we may grow apart from the friends we made in childhood, they will never truly leave us. Their encouragement and—dare I say—antics will always follow us as we continue to live, and breathe, and stretch our legs as we run, head-long, into the next obstacle and break through.”

 

Polite applause, and then Double Dee was giving him a disapproving smile as he nestled between the two of them. “Eddy,” he leaned in to whisper conspiratorially as the principal took the stage again to begin reading names. “I know for a fact that your name does not precede mine in the alphabet.”

 

Eddy just shrugged. One by one their classmates walked up the long stairs and accepted their diplomas. “I’ve got the mother of all plans,” he said back as Double Dee clapped politely. “You see, I’ve been thinking. You’re gonna need an idea guy at college.”

 

Double Dee’s eyes twinkled at him. “Is that so?”

 

“Yeah, and some muscle. Little guy like you is going to need to fend off all the jocks.” He was smiling, too. Ed was leaning in, and he saw his friend snake a subtle arm around Double Dee’s waist.

 

“And where am I going to find someone to do that?”

 

Eddy opened his mouth to respond, but then his name was being called. He leapt up, glancing over his shoulder at where his friends sat entangled in each other, both looking up at him as he left. “I’m sure you’ll think of someone.”

 

He pushed his way through the rows of chairs, awkwardly out of place, and dashed up the stairs to the stage. He was breathless, smiling as he accepted his diploma and bowed his head, feeling the feather-light touch of his tassel as it was swept from right to left. He stood, then, grinning into the bright lights that shone down on the stage as the audience clapped for him, and thought about how right everything was.

 

It didn’t matter that his plan wasn’t one-hundred percent thought out. He had two of his best friends to help him figure out the details. And the three of them had the rest of the summer—followed by the rest of their lives—to make it work.


End file.
